A long time ago I began living my life from minute to minute. Never planning anything for no more than an hour at a time. I use to be one of those people who carried around a day planner, and marked every second of my day in it and was lost without it. But something just said to me one day when I was super stressed “just let it go”. Now I know it sounds like a really simple thing, but truly think about “just letting go” and what the means. For me, it meant not worrying about all the IF’s and But’s of life. Not worrying about money, bills, housing, etc. Now if you have followed me for any length of time, you will know that in the very begining of this blog that I was quite different. That I was worried about how things were going to come together and how I was going to make it. Well I must confess that once I stopped worrying about things, things got so much simpler and easier. When I quit worry about my bills, they became less, and I always seem to find the means to pay them. When I stopped worrying about where my next meal was coming from, my cupboards and refrigerator began filling up.
I noticed that if I lived a simple and humble life that things always work out in one way or another. Yes there are times where the old me would stress the fuck out and get panic attacks and get depressed. Now days I found that if I just turn my problems over to the universe that things come my way. I just recently saw this happen to my sister. She is a strong, proud, hard working woman. Recently she was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. Yep the big C. I would be lying if I said that I wasnt worried and that I havent cried more than Id like to admit. But her whole life she has always worked hard to get what little she has. So when she was diagnosed it was a gut punch.
Shortly after she lost her business. And things just seemed to go slowly to hell. Today she admitted that she was in a negative headspace and was having a why me pity party. She lamented about how things never go easy and then when it does its because some end of the world calamity. She had been worried about how she was going to pay bills and how she was going to make ends meet. Being that she has cancer, she hasnt looked for a job, because realistically she knows that no one would hire her, because her medical condition could cause their business money, and she could become unreliable. Well today she was really stressing and just over thinking things, which put her in a bit of a sour mood. To help you out she is a Virgo. For those of you who dont know about astrology Virgos are hard working, strong, proud, wont ask for help, my way or the highway, types of people.
She has always hated my carefree way of life. And I always tell her to stop stressing and that things will work themselves out. Im a Pisces, which means that I am a dreamer, a creative, free flowing spirit. So my ‘devil may care’ approach to things alot of times makes it so that others (especially her) can not see how things just work out. And most times people thing that I am just given hand outs and that my life is “easy”. Well as we were driving back to our respective houses today, she was telling me how she was just in a blah mood, trying to figure everything out. How she was almost out of money, and how she wasnt sure how she was going to make the holidays, let alone the bills. About that time she receives a phone call saying that she had mail at her church and that she needed to come in ASAP because there was a travelers check made out to here in this letter. She thanked the church treasurer, hung up the phone, and began to cry as we turned around and we went to her church, and someone had left her a travelers check for $500. As we were driving home, she confessed how she was just angry at the world and how she was trying to figure things out and was just in a dark place.
My first thing I said was “see I tell you all the time, just dont worry about things, that you will have miracles happen.” In our family we call these “little miracles” and they have happened time and time again. When we were living together and had NO money what so ever, as we were driving down the street I saw some money on the side of the road, and yelled “money pull over”. And lo and behold there was a $20 on the ground. A few hours later while in the parking lot of a grocery store I found another $10. About 4 days after that, we were driving and I saw money on the side of the road again. I exclaimed “MONEY” and she pulled over and sure enough there was $20. This has now become a running ‘joke’ between us. But these little miracles happen all the time to me. And it wasnt until I just stopped worrying about things. So she dropped me off at my house and I get a call 15 minutes later from her, and she said that there was another check in the mail for $1000. $1,500 from the universe just happened. It was a miracle that is straight out of a movie or some other type of unbelievable situation. But here she was, just an hour or two prior to all of this, crying and worried about how things would come together, and then she was blessed. As if to say “all will be ok.”
The whole drawn out point of this is just this. When you stop worrying about things. When you give up your issues to the universe. When you live humbly and just have faith that everything will work out, it will. Will this money that she has gotten fix everything? Well no. But it will bring some easement and comfort for the time being. When you least expect it, little miracles happen. Be it magic, divine intervention, laws of attraction, the will of the universe, or dumb luck, but when you expect nothing, you are granted everything. When you expect everything, you are given nothing, and all is taken from you.
So I am just thankful for whatever it was that brought this bounty into her life. And I am thankful that she was blessed. That she was able to lessen her burdens for just a short time.